Motherhood is kicking my butt, but…

Motherhood is kicking my butt, but… I refuse to act like everything’s okay all of the time. God doesn’t want us to murmur and complain but sometimes you need to talk! It’s okay to say “Girl today was rough” or “This week was challenging pray for me”. I was 28 with a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and a newborn and it was hard. But I hardly ever expressed that to anyone. I had a “I’ll just pray mindset”. I felt that it was wrong to spend too much time talking because most conversations instantly turned into gossip but recently I came across a scripture that challenged that mindset. 

The last few months I found myself expressing things that I normally wouldn’t to people but afterwards I would find myself feeling bad wondering to myself “Did I say too much?”) Or did I burden them with that? The conversations all went well, they were edifying and encouraging but something was bothering me because this was new to me, until I stumbled across Malachi 3:16

The Lord began to show me that there’s nothing wrong with talking, it’s the content of the conversation that get’s us in trouble with God. But I am coming to believe that talking to fellow believers is a necessity. I believe holding stuff in is dangerous. God as a refuge is most important but you need trustworthy people who you believe can hold water to talk to about the issues plaguing you as well especially if you’re in a season where your prayer life is shaky. I’m not saying use them as your dumpster or gossip partner and call everyday with garbage but something like “Gyrl I’m trying but I’m really struggling with this”, is not poison to the other person. They may just have a word for you!

(Proverbs 11:13) One way I’ve learned to differentiate between a talebearer and someone with a faithful spirit is by their conversation. If they are telling you everyone’s business don’t tell them personal things that you don’t wish for everyone to know.  

In motherhood my biggest struggle is the fact that you can’t just get up and do what you want anymore. Sometimes you may have something you would like to do but it’s not as easy as “I’m going to workout” anymore. Just this morning I was up around 5 am a time where my children are usually sleeping so I was excited to spend time with God. I pulled out my Bible and Concordance but before I knew it my 1 year old was up and ready to play. Sometimes things don’t workout the way you hope and that can be discouraging especially as the years progress. I have learned that you may think you are alone but it doesn’t have to be that way there’s a world full of people with godly wisdom so don’t be afraid to speak up. For example, aside from motherhood I really dislike my voice. This week I expressed that to four people and they said they dislike their voice too. That surprised me but now I’m like oh okay I’m not as screwed up as I thought lol. You are not even alone in your struggle like we usually think we are. Many are there now or have been there we just have to open our mouth. 

Lord there’s truly no one like you. You are the best listener point blank period! You are our refuge. A true friend. A safe place. The One who has our best interest without a doubt. We don’t aim to put anyone in your place or above you in our lives but we ask that you would give us godly relationships. Your word tells us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers so we ask that you would connect us with the right people. Even if it’s one person or two we pray for some godly individuals to talk to in our lives. In Jesus name we pray. Amen

Malachi 3:16 King James Version (KJV)

16 Then they that feared the Lord spake often one to another: and the Lord hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the Lord, and that thought upon his name.

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Motherhood is kicking my butt, but…

Motherhood is kicking my butt, but… that does not give me a license to cuss, yell at, or be mean to my children. These are all behaviors that displease God. Sometimes when we get in the heat of the moment we don’t always handle situations in the right manner but God cares about the way we treat our children.

I get it. We get tired, drained, and frustrated because of our mile long never ending  to do list and lack of me time and slip up. But this is not acceptable behavior especially as a woman whose living for Christ. God wants us to be loving, patient, and nice and it’s not always easy when you’re under pressure but He wouldn’t have told us to if it was impossible. For WITH God nothing shall be impossible.

So we have to make sure we spend time WITH God. As mothers we have to use our down time wisely feeding our spirits so we can handle things the right way. We have to seek God for help before things get bad. He can help us. If you are drained ask God for strength. If we are content with this it’s not okay. We have to recognize our missteps before too much damage is done and ask God for help. Lord help us to be kind to our children!! One thing about motherhood, we don’t get a do over.

Lord we thank you for opening our eyes to what pleases you and what doesn’t. We thank you for exposing dark areas in our life that we may change. Change us Lord. Help us to treat our children with love. Strengthen ever mother who feels like they can’t take anymore God. Lord we ask that you would help us to apply this Word to our life. Help us to look to you for the strength and power we need to do motherhood your way. In Jesus name Amen

Isaiah 40

29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.

Motherhood is kicking my butt, but…

Mother hood is kicking my butt, but… it baffles me as to why not many mothers feel free to express this. There is so much pressure to always say “I love being a mother!” and “I love my kids they’re such a blessing!” “Being a mom is great!” that it may not always come from a place of honesty. It’s ok to admit we’re not enjoying motherhood all the time.

There’s a scripture that says that the older women are supposed to teach the younger women how to love their children. In that same scripture it also says that they should teach us how to be sober. I guess because sometimes these children will make you wanna take a trip to the liquor store! (Kidding) But I can honestly say I don’t wake up everyday excited about parenting and looking forward to spending time with my kids.

Some days I dread all the tasks that come with motherhood. But that’s okay, it does’s mean something is wrong with me or that I’m a messed up mom. What’s messed up is people that make you feel bad for admitting this. When you’re free you don’t have to act like everything is peaches and cream. We don’t have to be negative and bash our kids, but truthful nonetheless. The Bible would have never said the older women are to teach the younger women to love their children if this was an automatic thing. It takes prayer and definitely discipleship from mother’s who have been where you are. I really thank God for the books about motherhood and devotionals that many women of God have written to help us along the way.

When you feel like your hands are full and motherhood is a lot it’s okay. You are not alone. Even on the days where I’m the most prayed up, playing worship music through the house and singing unto the Lord, and in the word constantly there are still difficulties that I face. Don’t give up everyday is different and the Holy Spirit is there to help us through the rough days. Tossing our kids a tablet for hours is not the right way to handle this. We have to seek God for REAL HELP! Don’t be ashamed to admit that it get’s hard.

Lord I thank you. I thank you for loving me so greatly!!! Lord you love me even when I do wrong. You long suffer with me. You’re patient with me. I pray that you would help me to be the same with my children. Help me to love my children Lord. I ask that you would place godly women in my life to teach me how to love my children even on the rough days. When things aren’t going well help me to be long-suffering with my children in the same manner that you are with me.  Help me not to turn to rage, liquor, depression, or marijuana when motherhood gets hard but help me to lean on you instead. I know you can help me through each difficulty that comes with motherhood and life in general. In Jesus name Amen.

Titus 2

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

Motherhood is kicking my butt, but…

Motherhood is kicking my butt, but… Can I be honest? I think this generation of mothers is entirely too hard on themselves. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to give our children the world but I think we’ve taking it to a whole other level where motherhood may actually be causing unnecessary stress.

Who said our life had to revolve around our children. Parents are busy keeping children occupied, entertained and making sure their life is going great while sometimes suffering. When talking to people 60 years old and up the stories they tell me about their childhood seem to involve a lot of work whereas now our children’s lives are filled with recreation and entertainment.

The older people often tell stories about how they worked in fields with their family and took care of animals to survive. My mother even tells me of how at a child of six years old she was making dinner, cleaning the house, and going to get water for the family. Everyone says to themselves “I never want my child to go through that!” But I wonder are we helping them or hurting them.

Kids today are sitting around on the internet all day, playing on tablets, and getting attitudes when asked to do anything outside of that. Are we helping them or causing them to be lazy. I’m not saying I condone a 10 year old changing diapers, but neither do I agree with a 10 year old sitting on their tablet all day. There has to be a balance and I pray that we find it.

James 1:5 King James Version (KJV)

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus we come to you thanking you for everything you’ve taught us. We thank you for the children you’ve given us. Lord we pray that you would help us to be wise mothers. Help us to be godly mothers Father. We pray for your wisdom in this area. Teach us how to train our kids in the ways of Christ and lead them in the right direction so that we may leave behind a legacy of godliness and good values. If we are going in the wrong direction already we pray you would steer us back on the right path. In Jesus Name Amen

 

What a Bird’s Nest Can Teach Us About God’s Will

The Disciple's Road

Snugly tucked away in the Old Testament book of Proverbs is one of the Bible’s most beautiful verses on the subject of God’s will Proverbs 27:8 says:

Like a bird that wanders from its nest is a man who wanders from his place (N.K.J.V.).

Tell me, are you right now in your place? Are you living where God wants you to be living? Are you working where He wants you to be working? Are you going to church where He wants you to be going to church? Are you engaged in those activities in which He wants you to be engaged?

A nest is the best place in all the world for a bird to be. It is nothing less than home. A bird in its nest is safe because predators can’t harm it there. A bird in its nest is at rest because no bird can fly…

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Peace and Quiet

My mother gave me so much wisdom growing up.
One of her favorite things to say to most situations was “you’ll understand when you have a family.” I didn’t get it then but I understand now. One thing I remember her saying so often was “I just want some peace and quiet.” When you’re young this sounds absurd but, there comes a time in life where you begin to understand what “mama meant” (that seemed silly at the time). I wholeheartedly understand it now. At 29 I see things differently. Peace and quiet is so vital. I can honestly say each day I enjoy good conversation, music, and also moments with my husband and daughters. But since having a family I now look forward to the peace and quiet that I used to run from. I dont know where you are in life but I want to tell you not everything requires your attention, opinion, or presence. Some of us are so busy going going going doing doing doing talking talking talking that we have no true peace (including me). Don’t get me wrong, I love me some noise but I now realize theres a beauty in silence, resting, and relaxation that it took me until motherhood to realize. Take time to relax. Even Jesus had to get a break from the people, although He too was on a mission and one far more important than ours might I add!

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He’s so strong in the Lord Now He wasn’t like that before!

Last week I had an opportunity to meet two women of God from Africa while driving Uber. I picked them up from their brother/uncles house. As they got in the car I realized we spoke the same language. I’m not referring to English although as they spoke I heard them speaking English as well as their native language Ibo. They were not only speaking these two languages they were also speaking Kingdom.

The Body of Christ has their own language but too often we dont speak it. Our conversation should be different than it was before. We instead like these two women speak a little bit of both all in one sitting. We speak a little of our native language which is speech that doesn’t glorify God then we try to sneak in a scripture or what we heard the Lord say. Words have power and should be used wisely.

As they were talking I overheard the elderly mother say “He’s so strong in the Lord now, He wasn’t like that before. His wife is such a praying woman”. Now if you know me you know I’ll “but in” a conversation in a minute. I said do you mind telling me what you’re talking about. She said in as many words as I can remember, “My brother! He’s different. He has a praying wife. He wasn’t like that before but then the wife came and he’s just different.”

She looked so astonished as she was talking. She went on to talk about the power of a praying wife. I took this as a gentle reminder from God. It was not a coincidence that I heard that! Sometimes we get too lazy when it comes to prayer. So often as wives and people period we complain about issues instead of taking them to God. If we talked to God as much as people about our issues we would be so much better off.

As married women too often we talk too much and pray too little. I pray that someone would be able to say the same about us one day. Wow my brother sure changed or wow my uncle sure did change. He’s So strong in the Lord now! He prays daily now versus every other day. He gives so freely now versus being stingy. He so friendly now versus being hard and guarded with a wall up blocking out love. This is not to say they’re such an awful person. We all need change in different areas of our life. And even if you don’t see the change in them immediately, atleast you change! Focus on the change in you! It is true, God allows us to experience test, trials, and tribulation but some of our trouble is simply because of a lack of prayer.

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