“To Ghost or not to Ghost”

This week while driving I was listening to the radio and they brought up the topic of ‘ghosting’. Both of the radio hosts looked at ghosting as something that wasn’t right. They had also dealt with ghosting and talked about how it just wasn’t a good feeling and how it can really hurt. In my lifetime I have gotten ghosted but I have also ghosted others. I would agree that being ghosted isn’t a good feeling.

I found myself interested in this topic because the truth of the matter is sometimes we are connected to people that we no longer want to be connected with or who no longer wish to be connected to us, for whatever reason. On the other hand sometimes we connect with people who really want to connect and stay in touch more than we are interested in and vice versa.

It’s not always easy to know what to do in these situations. The easy route is to just stop responding to text or calls. Sometimes it’s actually safest to ghost depending on the circumstances. But sometimes ghosting is unfair. It takes courage to be upfront with others, but sometimes ghosting is simply the easiest option.

We live in a culture where a lot of times people feel “Don’t nobody owe you nothing” but I beg to differ. Sometimes being upfront with others when possible is just the right thing to do. I recently faced a point where I felt like it was best to disconnect with someone but without ghosting. The reason why is because she hadn’t done anything to me and I hadn’t done anything to her so I felt it was only right to disconnect the right way. I was a bit hesitant at first but I felt so strongly that it was the right thing to do.

First I apologized (for my lack of responsiveness) and basically let her know it was nothing personal but that my life was a bit busy right now. I also let her know that I hoped she understood. Honestly, sometimes we meet people and we may hit it off but are just in different spaces of life. And for me, maintaining friendships since becoming a mother has not been as easy as before.

I was a little afraid of what her response would be but still glad I did things the right way. Surprisingly her response was a big relief. Apart of her response was simply “thank you for letting me know”. She then spoke a blessing over my family. I still hoped she wasn’t offended, and I truly believe she understood where I was coming from.

Growing up the Golden Rule was everywhere. It was plastered on walls at schools, afterschool programs, you name it. Though it’s not heard as commonly today, the Golden Rule is still important. It’s not always easy to do the right thing and sometimes we won’t but on this journey I’ve noticed that I tend to feel my best when I do right by others or at least attempt to.

In our lives love is the most important. Ghosting is not rooted in love. If we really admit it, it’s kind of selfish, especially when someone is reaching out and we continually ignore them. In all of our actions and words love is key.

What is your view on ghosting?

Please drop your 2 cents in the comments.